hey, i'm breathing.

so here we go again. haven't blogged for real in awhile. not that i'm not busy tonight but i just feel the urge to blog. today i talked to an assortment of people. all of whom i miss talking to or seeing on a daily basis. [yes you christina hung, miss you to pieces.] but yeah, i think i'm in a good mood right now, after all the reconnections with the people in my life.

tomorrow is disneyland. i get the feeling i'm gonna get a lot of thinking done tomorrow. weird right? but i always get nostalgic at disneyland. i get that. man, i wish you were here with me thing going on. which. yeah, i really do wish you were with me. at disneyland. *tears*

keyclub this saturday. i'm extremely excited to see my friendlies doug and brandon. especially since i haven't seen them in a long time. :( and also i love the feeling of being at keyclub early in the morning. how can people NOT love it? (: *waves at doug* [hey doug! i'm breathing! :)]

i'm tired. but i do'nt want to sleep. i think i don't want to miss out on this limited time.

nts: GOPHER CARD. :D

sincerely yours, jessicadnguyen.

gift from the sea.

so i've been reading it.

solitude is right. it's something i need.

life is too busy these days.

no time to think.

wedding tomorrow, very excited. did everyone have a nice thanksgiving? i hope so.

lifesaver popsicles are...

GODSEND. they are so freaking delicious. like. 12 popsicles for 99CENTS. it's amazing. they taste like lifesavers. i am completely content spending my life eating these things every now and then. :)

anyways, that's all i had to say. i'm going to go read now! i went to the library today! (:

happy viet martyrs' day.

 all i have to say is.

jesus. and. me. together. forever. (:

musings.

i, unfortanetly, must watched the foxla news cast about mr. james and the board meeting. and how the administration is trying to get him fired. [if you want to watch it, the video link is here. http://www.myfoxla.com/dpp/news/local/local_teacher_allegedly_forced_to_quit_20091117]. it's. just a sad thing to watch. and hear about. i almost cried watching the video.even though i've never had a class with mr. james. i sure do know how much of an impact he has on our school. whenever you need him he's there for you. like the time i ripped my dollar and he taped it back together for me. mr. james is such a big part of LQ. the fact that the administration is trying to get him fired. is just awful. i hope mr. james is okay. i'm done talking about it. mr. james=strength.

hm what to say. i had a lot to say. but i'm kinda speechless sad now.

i don't know why i care. it's not like we're that good of friends anyways. it's not like you're there for me through thick and thin. it's not like if i called you right now and said i was in trouble, you'd come running. it's not like i meant anything to you anyways. i don't want to care anymore. life's unfair. yeahyeah i know, when was life ever fair anyways?

dear mr. vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. you see us as what you want to see us. in the simplest terms. in the most convenient definitions. but. what we found out is that each one of us is a brain. and an athlete. and a basket case. a princess. and a criminal. does that answer your question?

sincerely yours the breakfast club.

pure blog one.

hello pure blog, here i go.

i've been a busy girl lately. it's kind of scary. i've had to start putting my priorities in their place. there are just too many things to do. not enough time. not enough jessicas. there's so much pressure junior year. i'm taking my sats in january. and i have to worry about financial aid stuff that i have to get done. teen values club is dying. trying my best to go to keyclub events. have to throw in going to thieunhi and of course i have to go to church. sigh. it's okay. i'm okay. actually, i think i'm getting better at the juggling. not so much at the stress handling. but hey, good news. that physics final i was stressing about? i did good. proud of myself? heck yeah. it was a reminder that yeah, i can do this.

i won't write more. but i have caught up on you're beautiful. and it still makes me wish i was just. that girl.

doug brought up a good point. he asked me, jokingly, to proofread his blog. can you even do that? is there some way to. some how. edit your own thoughts. the things that come to mind. i think i try to. like when i accidentally think about me and you being together when i accidentally catch you in the corner of my eye. in the corner of my mind. and then i try to brush the thought out of my mind, because i'm not supposed to think them. is that editting your thoughts? pretending you never thought of them? pretending like. it never came to mind? because if that's what it is. i'm guilty of doing it. aren't we all?

christmas is coming. can you feel it? it's in the air.

conceptual question. is jessica ever going to get tired of waiting for something that might never come?

answer: d. cannot be answered with the information given.

heartbeat.

i haven't blogged in awhile. too busy.

i'm very confused. don't know what to think.

can you feel my heartbeat? the heart that you've stomped on is still beating and even so towards you. no matter how hard i try, no matter how many new people i meet. and again and again. why must i turn around and think of you? i'm going to stop, i want to stop. though i calm myself again, it's no use. my heart is broken, why? why am i still doing these stupid things, my mind seems to understand. but why must my heart still act on its own? i grabbed you and i still can't let you go. it still seems like you're by my side, i can't believe in goodbyes. no matter who meet, i can't open a part of my heart, and i keep leaving a space for you. there's no reason for you to come back. but my heart keeps believing you will. why won't it listen? listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you.

seriously? back to square one.

don't forget.

today was enlightening. i went to the cemetery with thieunhi people. we went around to the people we knew who were at the cemetery who died and prayed for them. at first i was reluctant to go. because you know, who wants to spend their saturday at a cemetery? but in the end, i was rather glad i went. we first went to anh son's burial spot. i do'nt really remember him. he was a huynh truong at st. barbara when i was 7 years old. he died when he was 20. i looked at his picture and i recognized his face. god, life is so short...we stopped at other burials. jimmy's dad for instance. he really looked like jimmy. i wonder how jimmy felt when he died. its not something i've ever really thought about. then we stopped by chi nga's niece's burial spot. her niece was a baby. only seven months old. and she died leaving behind a twin. a lot of babies that wer eburied there were only a few months old. we even saw one that was only two hours old. that made me think. damn life is REALLY short. and we stopped by some other people's burial spots like john's grandma. and bob's grandma. but the one that really made me tear up was the boy from another church. he was from lavang i think? i don't remember his name. i remember his saint name though, andrew. he was twelve years old when something in his brain went wrong. and he died. his birthday was two days ago, on thursday. november fifth. he would have been fourteen years old. it just really hit close to home. i didnt' know the kid personally but i remember seeing him at camp. and anh huy knew him and. it was the first burial i saw that was a kid almost my age. who went to thieu nhi and. i remembered seeing at camp. he was buried in his thieu nhi uniform. that's amazing. and it really made me think about how. short life is. our last stop was anh mau. he dedicated his life to thieu nhi. and i remember watching the skit about him at camp. it made me cry. i think he'll be happy to see that so many people visited his grave. he would've been around fifty this year. man, life is short.

so basically, i learned that life is incredibly short. and you should live it to the fullest. i think all those people we visited are happy today. because they know they aren't forgotten. amen to that.

remember the fifth.

total allusion to v for vendetta right there. (: i love that movie man oh man. and today's the fifth. so remember the fifth. :D i've been really busy. haven't really blogged. except for. maybe the you&i thing. on tuesday. (: SUCH a good song. i also got the new VITASLU album. i am SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! it's such a good album. vitas lu lulls me to sleep every night now with his beautiful music. *heart* i have a bigfat calculus test tomorrow. but i studied super hard. so hopefully i'll do okay. (: what's happened in the last few days? really? not much. too busy to even think. much too busy. i don't really know what to blog anymore. i had a lot on my mind. but now that i'm blogging. it's just kinda stuck in a rut. well, that's that. today was a cute day. i fought with alex about urban dictionary definitions. i'm pretty sure i won. (:


love always, jessicadnguyen.

TIREDOFWAITING. <3

in honor of the forever leaderjay. i have to post this picture up.

damn, how could you POSSIBLY get tired of waiting for that?

ha. ha. ha.

neil, please don't pull your shirt up when you see that picture.

sincerely yours, jessicadnguyen.

you&i. <3

no matter what happens. even when the sky is falling down. i'll promise you. that i'll never let you go. you, when i fell. you held me back up with an unfaltering gaze. and you, through those sad times. held my hands 'til the end of the world. i might be a shabby person. who has never done anything for you. but today, i am singing this song just for you. tonight, within those two eyes. and a smile. i can see the pains from protecting me. you and i together, it's just feels so right. even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you. you and i together. don't ever let go of my hands. even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you. our love has changed bit by bit. just like others. but don't be sad. hopefully i will be someone who you can trust like an old friend. and someone you can lean onto. i promise you that i'm right here baby. i might be a shabby person. who has never done anything for you. but today, i am singing this song just for you. tonight, within those two eyes. and a smile. i can see the pains from protecting me. you and i together, it's just feels so right. even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you. you and i together. don't ever let go of my hands. even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you. i close my eyes lightly, whenever i feel lonely again. i no longer fear when your breath holds me. no one in the world can replace you. you are the only one in my heart. i'll be there for you baby. you and i together, it just feels so right. even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you. you and i together, don't ever let go of my hands. even though i bid you goodbye. to me this world is just you. just you and i. forever and ever.

lovealways, jessicadnguyen.

off to see the wizard!

last night was halloween. went trickortreating with lany & carl. it was a super fun night. i was dorothy! and lany was belle. and my favorite part of the night was when these two little girls dressed up as belle and sleeping beauty ran up to us and were like "YOU GUYS ARE SO PRETTY!" and we were like "OMG YOU GUYS ARE SO ADORABLE!" they were SO cute. [and i am not a pedophile alex!] and my second favorite part of the night was after we changed back into regular clothes and me and lany and carl walked to the park in her neighborhood and sat there and talked. and then this little boy comes walking towards us and i made a weird ghost noise and the boy stopped dead on his track. and then ran away. THAT WAS SO FUNNY. *tears of laughter* and then we walked back to lany's house. and they were walking big steps. and my short legs did not keep up. failure. all in all. a perfect halloween. :D

i like reading doug's blog. it always sounds so much more insightful than my own.

lately i've been accidentally wishing on a lot of helicopters. i don't know if it's fate that the stars don't want me to wish on them. or because. california's sky is crazily infested with helicopters and light pollution. :/

it's only fiveoclock. but it's rather dark outside. i don't like it. i like the winter. but i hate that it gets dark so quickly. it makes the day feel so short. and it makes me feel scared that there's not enough time to do everything i need to do. freaky.

so i haven't really finished up this blog. i've spent the last hour or so drilling on apphysics problems. apphysics ftw, yeah right. :) tomorrow is monday. i have an apphysics quiz. an apcalculus quiz. aplang socratic seminar, but i'm outercircle which is easypeasy. i have...that's it. (: yay. apcalculus should be easy. related rates is whatever. except for the shadow problems. which are like more like WTF problems. but mr. greek will explain them when he gets back tuesday. we get our new seats for orchestra tomorrow. who wants to make bets that i'll end up in the same seat!? -__- for the past three years i've managed to stay in the same general area. it's freaking ridiculous, which is why i should warn you that if said thing happens again i will most likely be blogging about how insufficient and horrible our leprechaun-lookalike fattie music teacher is. :D

i haven't hyperblogged in awhile. maybe tomorrow? i'm just not feeling CRAZY enough for a hyperblog today. you know what i mean? it's cause i've been sick. WITH SWINE FLU. hahahhahha! :D yeah right. i'll hyperblog when i get in the mood. which will probably be soon. i mean, some days i'm rather crazy. and people know that. but probably by the end of the day i get too tired. and then once i have the time to climb onto my chair and turn on the computer the energy's kinda gone. if i do recall most of my hyperblogs were from summer. oh summer how i miss you. :(

dinner for jessica today: yams. i really like yams. they're so yummy. (:

so i'm browsing tumblr. and they have this. the wire thing. or something. where all the posts that are being posted appear on the screen. if posts are pictures it shows you the pictures and it's constantly changing cause people are posting up stuff. and every now and then some strange person posts up a picture of them making out with their significant other or a weird picture. and i'm just thinking. REALLY?! REALLY? i mean, it's like. do these people have no dignity whatsoever? is it really necessary to post up pictures of you guys making out. or pictures of you in slutty clothes? it's embarassing to the human race. and it's even worse when it's an asian. i'm just like, wow. disgrace the asian population why don't you. i just think it's disgusting. :(

i just saw the snuggies commercial. i...do not understand. it's like...a poncho. with arm holes..."for flexibility in the arms." ... what? ... it's so. stupid. but...i want one. just to see...if it's FOR REAL? i mean. really.a blanket with arm holes. for your arms. flexibility. isn't that like...A JACKET. in poncho form...HOW DO THEY EVEN MAKE A PROFIT OFF THIS. who buys these things?! no comprendo. next year...for halloween. i think i'll be a snuggie. :o

sometimes, i wish my blog was unknown. i think i could be more honest. but at the same time, if no one knew about my blog, i don't think i'd have much fun using it. my blog lets me be a little bit more drama queen than i'd usually be. and. i think. my blog makes me feel a little more important than how i'd usually feel. maybe it's 'cause i'm always imagining a bajillion people reading it. when it's really only like, five people. (:

we keep waiting on the world to stop. but it won't slow down. and we'll never catch up. we keep waiting on the world to stop. but the time is now. and we've got to get off.