100 ways of living.

right so the title of this blog is vitas lu's 08 album. which is probably the best chinese album i've ever heard. kicking davidchoi aside, this guy is my new musical soulmate. ;D his music. is like. i will listen to it. and just be happy. nothing could ruin my mood. OH WAIT MAYBE. METEOR SHOWER LINKS BEING TAKEN OFF. fail, i have to wait for the episodes to be subbed again, i'm going to go crazy. T-T today, went to keyclub park clean up. which equals walking all around mile square park talking and picking up trash when we see it. and buying ice cream. and mentoring my little tony on not dating cougars. :D that was fun. except i'm semi tired. sore. whatever. i had fun! (: last night i had a heart to heart wiht my favoritest senior kevintran. i love him to bits. we had a good conversation about potatos. and him making me perverted. cause he was like. "she gets me." and i was like "what. aroused?!" cause i thought he was gonna say something else. but he meant she understands me. so i was being a pervert. aroused is a funny word. (: listening to vitas lu makes me want to blog a lot. his funny bowl cut and nerdy clothes just make me laugh. and vitas is the most awesome name ever! :D and right now i'm having a heart to heart with KELLLLLY, gosh i miss her to bits! D: ermmmm, what elseessss. lala. i talked to you a few days go. i can't believe i'm starting to miss you. vietnam is far away. i can't wait for you to come back home. geeebus, cheesy. gross. cheese is for nachos! hahaha, this morning i had french toast sticks from carlsjk. i like those., they're yummmmmmmmy! i'm kinda annoyed with people who talk like they're in key club and and they talk big. but when it comes down to the dirty work, they don't do sh*t. and it makes me angry. all they do is join keyclub to go to the socials, and meet guys. when really, keyclub is about community service. but they're too prissy and girly to go pick up trash. it makes me angry. you don't have the right to say you're in keyclub when you don't do work. ANYWAYS, on happier note. talked to ryan yesteday. i'm glad dramafevers going good for him. he's going back to newyork next week. *tears* i was like YES RYAN, when i watched BOF i used dramafever! and he's like YOU BETTER. BIZNITCH! :DDDD oh yeah, i was listening to this chinese guy who won the chinese version of american idol. and he can do this like falsetoo voice. like a dolphin. when i heard it in a song, i thought it was an organ or a synthesizer. it was so HIGH PITCHED. i was like WTF?! but the song is so good. and even though the voice freaked me out. he has a nice normal singing voice. which i like. so i can't stop listening. it's good stuff. hahahhaha. oh yeah me and my sister watching bof is super funny. we make funny comments. especially when i pause it. and the guys face is like retarded. hahaha, it's hilarious. every monday tuesday wednesday lately has been dedicated to watch queen seon deok for me my sister and even... MY DAD! it's really good! and i can't wait for my loverrrrrrrrrr, yoo seung ho to appear. even though i do NOT dig the long hair look back then. he's still adorable. and he's turning 16 in two days. i love 93'ers. :D oh yeah yesterday at choir. i totally educated theresa on high school stuff. it's funny cause two years ago. huong was doing the same for me. i remember it. "DO NOT GET MS. ZINNER JESSICA!!!!" i said the same to theresa. man, how time flies. D: we're freaking graduating next year. omg, class of 2010 are graduating. probably my favorite class. after last years? maybe. same level. i'm going to miss kevin and fred. and jessica. and denise. and steph. and all those people. who i loveeeeeeeeeeee. T-T this is so sad. mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, ANYWAYS. i'm beat. gonna concentrate on talking to kelly. and singing along to vitas lu's lovelyyyyyyyyyyyyyy songs.

and he said. que pasa, jdn.

right. so. yeah.

Ten apologies to ten different people:
1. i'm sorry i let you go.
2. i'm sorry that i don't always have time.
3. i'm sorry i'm so scared.
4. i'm sorry i don't have the will to fight for you.
5. i'm sorry i don't always understand.
6. i'm sorry for letting this escalate to this point.
7. i'm sorry you're always worrying about me getting hurt.
8. i'm sorry for not being there for you all the time.
9. i'm sorry that i burden you guys sometimes.
10. i'm sorry that i can't always change for you.

Nine confessions to nine different people:
1. i'm unbelievably worried about you right now and i seriously just want to give you a hug. i'm praying for you.
2. i really. really. miss you.
3. i'm scared you'll let me go because you're not in high school anymore.
4. i'm jealous of the attention you get.
5. i hate when you compare me to others. it hurts.
6. sometimes, i really do just want to be alone.
7. you're disgusting. stop hugging me.
8. i'm trying.
9. i believe in you.

Seven different people you miss:
1. maria.
2. kelly.
3. kathy.
4. kevin tran.
5. kevin nguyen.
6. michael.
7. jeffie.

Six different people you would do anything for:
1. God.
2. family.
3. lany.
4. maria.
5. kelly.
6. kathy.

Five things you hope to accomplish before you die:
1. happiness.
2. success.
3. get married. (:
4. have a very adorable family. :D
5. go to korea with maria!

Four words to describe your life:
1. happy.
2. not boring.
3. careful.
4. but. not really.

Three things you want to hold on to forever:
1. my faith.
2. my hope.
3. the people around me.

Two most important things in your life:
1. God.
2. family.

One thing you know you want but will never have:
1. probably you.

just for today.

let me sing a song for you, the whole world is listening with you. this is love, you will understand. you're the only one, irreplaceable. let me sing a song for you. close your eyes, give your heart to me. right now, i want you to listen to the sound of happiness. chords of happiness. my hands are trembling because of you. one more second of your smile i'd give anything for. the spinning music box is recording every single note. your emotions helped me write a song. give me your hand, lean on my shoulder. i'll block all the wind and rain. let the stars in the sky accompany you. let me sing a song for you, the world is listening with you. this is love, you will understand. you're the only one, irreplaceable. let me sing a song for you, close your eyes, give your heart to me. because just for today. in this very moment, i want you to listen to the sound of happiness. it's what you've given to me.


that's all, jdn.

HIBOYFRIEND!

oh. my. dear. excuse me, *raging nosebleed*


it's just one of those days. :DDDD

10REVELATIONS.

1. OH MY DEAR, i officially have panda eyes!
2. the gate on the side of my house is a DEATH TRAP! :o
3. i misjudged japanese boys! D:
4. the mailman is intentionally ripping a page on my magazine everytime he delivers my mail!
5. i am drawn to watching scary things even though i am scared pooless.
6. man, seriuosly, i know a LOT LOT LOT of kevins.
7. davidpham and i both agree that snsd's tell me your wish music video feels slightly cheap, and strippery. :o
8. i have very ocd routines, yes that's routineS, plural. and very. ocd.
9. oh ew, but i like soggy cornflakes. they're still crunchy but they melt in your mouth! (:
10. is there a difference between revelations and epiphanies? because hm, I DON'T KNOW.

spring cleaning in the summer. (:

so today. i cleaned out my closet. spring cleaning in the summer i suppose. (: reorganized all my clothes. cleaned out my bookcase. reorganized the books. my gosh, i feel proud. (: i realized we used A LOT A LOT of paper for apeuro. i flung it into the trashcan. and it was like *THUD* o_o and then i found my red puma shoe box. i thought i should throw it away. OH WAIT, I SHOULD CHECK INSIDE. guess what, good thing i did. cause i found sixty five dollars i stashed in there. i guess i hid it so i wouldn't use it. except i forgot about it. or i hid it extremely well. or something like that. but hey I THOUGHT I WAS BROKE! but i have sixty five, OH WAIT. one more dollar. sixty six dollars in my cow bank. yay. oh yeah and i've been looking for my FTISLAND tshirt that kelly gave me, that i love. found it after like a month! yayyyyy. i didn't lose it kelly! i didn't! i washed it. so i'm gonna wear it around the house tomorrow. i love ftisland. (: and then found my journal in my bookcase right when i was freaking out that my mom found it or something. my last entry was in MAY. wowwww. i wrote in it for the first time in months. it felt good, oh yeah i deleted my tumblr. cause i just wasn't feeling it. i think i like my journal better anyways. it felt goooooood. writing in it again. i skimmed through my old entries. even for me, it was embarassing reading it., my gosh i'm such an embarassing and lame person. but i still want to fill up lots of journals. and have a bookcase of them. wouldn't that be fun. to go back one day when i'm eighty years old and read what i wrote. my last entry in may said "victor is a mean person! -_-" i still remember why i wrote that. ^-^ hahahaha. and what else did i find? i found my old green earrings. that i like. haha, i found a lot of old clothes that i never wore. i seriously have a lot of clothes. especially free tshirts from camp and keyclub stuff. i have A LOT of those. mannnnn. hahaha. so i haven't blogged in awhile. except for that last really quick one. i haven't been online either, as some of you have noticed. AHEM DOUG. lmaooooo, he imed me when i logged on for more than five minutes and was like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! sorrrrrrrrrrry. i've been hiding. ;D i just haven't felt like talking to people. i've been holed up in my room. CLEANING. i'm getting faster on the annotations. YAYAYAY! (: oh yeah, been watching yukan club. the first japanese drama i like man. AND THE GUY IS CUTE. what is this A CUTE JAPANESE GUY?! THAT JESSICA ACKNOWLEDGES. the world has come to an ENDDDDDDDDDD. but yeah, the show is so funny. it makes me laugh. like crazy status. hahahaha. and yesterday i finally got around to watching HELLOSCHOOLGIRL. with kangin. it was SO EFFING CUTEEEEEEEEE. even though it was semi lolita status 18 year old girl. 30 year old guy who looks young and is innocent. and then kangin and his noona. but it was sososo cute i loved it. and the camera the noona girl had. I LOVE IT. i want it SO BAD. so bad. so bad. i've been shopping around for an oldschool film camera. and also a handcamera for videotaping. cause i wanna bring it to school. and document ltc moments you know? we only have so much time together before we graduate next year or whatever. SO I HAVE TO GET LOTS OF STUFF. FOR MEMORIES! I MUST. huzzah! (: what else have i done in my hiatus. mmmmm, it's just super hot. i feel super worn out lately. with keyclub and choir and church and stressing about annotations. but this week i had nothing, so i'm glad i got a week to recuperate. i seriuosly have no idea what day of the week it is. everything is just kinda meshing into one. oh yeah, and i was listening to taylor swift. the song fifteen. I'M FIFTEEN. and omg, the song. it's like. so funny how it relates. kinda weird. but yeah. "'cause when you're fifteen, and someone tells you they love you, you believe them." geez how many kids our age are like that. PRACTICALLY ALL OF THEM! -_- but yeahhhh., taylor swift, has good music. except i don't like her barrel curls. and also her face scares me a little. imagine waking up to THAT. geebus! :O oh yeah, i tried watching partner. the kdrama. i thought i wouldn't like it cause it looked super serious and it's about lawyers. but i really like it, IT WAS HILARIOUS. seriuosly, i didn't realize how much i missed the guy from my girl. which btw is also effing hilarious. but yeah i found it very funny. but also it intrigued me with the whole law side and criminal side. so that's like everything i like rolled up into one ball! yay! and i hears there's gonna be a high kick season 2! high kick season 1 was so goood. and i think season two. i have conflicting sides. i mean it looks semi promising with AJ and that other cute guy. but personally, i don't think it'll be as good as season 1 which was so original and good. so idk, but in the end, i know i'll have to watch it. high kick reminds me of kimbum. which reminds me of his new drama DREAM., which i HONESTLY tried watching., but so far. i just can't get hooked. even with the whole son dam bi AND kim bum in it. idkkk, maybe the next few episode previews will catch my eye. OH YEAH, WE GOT MARRIED. IS BACK. WITH THE MAKEBELIEVE COUPLES. i'm excited! the uee and park jaejoong episode aired. so I'M WAITING FOR SUBS., omfgomfgomfg. i'm so excited. (: i hope i hope i hope it's gooooood PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE. :D okay. so mainlaid (china) version of boys over flowers is coming out. I AM EXCITED. even though it's CHINA. and not taiwan. still. the preview was WAYWAYWAY better than the taiwan version. so EXCITEDFACE. plus. the guys are damn cute. AND I DON'T MEAN JUST ONE GUY. like in boys over flowers. UGH. i mean all of them! even though there's that one guy that me and maria dubbed cute guy but if you really stare at him he might be a creeper but he's still cute guy. (: OH BUT EW. the two people who are supposed to play the so eul couple from bof. they changed it to a older woman young guy thing. WTF. I HATE THAT. noona. *shudders right kelly!?* noona is no good! i find it so weird like COUGAR STATUS. :O roarroar. this one website has a nineminute preview. and it says FIFTY MINUTE PREVIEW? WTF. WHAT KIND OF PREVIEW IS FIFTY MINUTES. THAT'S LIKE A WHOLE EPISODE STUPID. i hate how all the new shows that i want to watch are coming out IN SEPTEMBER. WHEN I HAVE SCHOOL. damn you freaking asjdfoasd producers! D: OMG. that preview was the cutest thing i've ever seen even though i'm semi exaggerating with the whole ever seen part. one thing i hate sometimes, is that the cutest guy is always NOT THE MAIN GUY. USUALLY. WTF IS THAT. WHAT THE BARNACLE!? WTF. THE PREVIEW REALLY IS FIFTY MINUTES. WOWWWWW. WOWWWW. i am not watching all that. THAT IS LIKE. AN HOUR OF MY LIFE. ON A PREVIEW. FAIL! :O oh wait. it's airing aug8. NICE. NICE. IT BETTER. THEY BETTER SUB IT. YOU ASDFASDF. just kidding. ^-^ tell me your wish is playing on my itunes. it's sucha catchy song. that leg kick dance thing makes me laugh so hardddddddddddddd. (: cause it's so funnnny looking. like they're kicking imaginary midgets or something. dot dot dot. *_* i watched a lot of movies in the past few weeks. : red eye, flight 93, race to witch mountain, confessions of a shopaholic. etccc. which btw. I WILLL NEVER GET ON A PLANE AGAIN AFTER FLIGHT 93 AND RED EYE. OMFGGGG. T-T race to witch mountain was better than i thought. IT WAS SCARY. FOR ME. SO SCARY. T-T confessions of a shopaholic was HILARIOUS. i could not stop laughing. oh yeah yesterday we watched wipeout on teevee, haha sad people on there. and then MAJIDEEEEEEEEE. which is "i survived a japanese game show." japanese people are so enthusiastic. ^-^ oh yeah did i talk about more to love yet? that's like the not skinny version of bachelor. it's sad.T-T tears for them! D: the new soompi forums look is kinda hard to navigate. ROAR. but i will figure it out! :D HUZZAH. (: i can't wait for my birthday! don't worry, this year i'll make it easy and have a birthday wish list. SO YOU CAN BUY ME SOMETHING I WANT. just kidding. whatever i get i loveeeeeeeee. (: me hears. "it started with a kiss" is coming to korea. but the pds are group 8 who did boys over flowers. so IDKKKK, cause boys over flowers. was good. but wasn't YOU KNOW, what we all expected. which was more. so idk hopefully they will not butcher itazura no kiss. but hey if they want to bring back kim so eun and kim bum as a couple. I'M ALL FOR IT. ^-^ OH YEAH I SIGNED UP FOR DRIVING CLASSES! hopefully i'll get my permit and then my license. cause guess what. MY PARENTS BOUGHT ME A CARRRRRRRRRRRRR. it's beautiful! *tears* i'm so happy. THANK YOUUUUUUUUU PARENTS. (: it's my baby. i call it baby. AND MY SIS'TER'S NOSE PRINT IS ON THE WINDOW. i must wash it offffffffffff! D: ARGH, so korea has me2day which is the korean version of twitter. which all the cool people have in korea. BUT NOT TRANSLATIONS. so i cannot read it. T-T damn my limited knowledge!i want to go shopping. but for now! i'll just online shop. and work on my birthday present list. yayyyyyyyyyy. i'll make sure it's all CHEAP. hahahhaha! cause i'm cheap and i know you guys are cheap. and we're all cheap. and yay! (: even though my birthday isn't until october. OCTOBER. yay. i'm excited. life is good. why? BECAUSE. that's why. and you should just keep thinking that tooooooooo.

oh hot damn, jdn.

maria.

rightnow, my head is spinning. and i feel a little sick. so right now. because it's all i can do. all i can say is i love you to pieces. i think i'll stop before i pass out. i love you maria. <3

okay, in my haste attempt at reading maria's blog. i skimmed over a MAJOR detail because i didn't wanna really deal with it. MOVING CLOSER? YOU LITTLE. WHY I OUGHTTTAAAAA. love you forever. :D BUT STILL. i seriuosly almost had a heart attack. and uh my head is still spinning. so i think i'll go lay down. and one more think, mjkk "porn" i love you guys. (: